Bad Luck Chuck

I'm not so sure what to expect, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing. I have my first CL check since being placed on bedrest tomorrow, and I feel like the most I can ask for is to be holding at 2.4 cm. I should be proud of myself, I've been an angel as far as the bedrest is concerned - only getting up for bathroom privileges and my morning shower every other day - so you'd think everything is going well, but I'm not so sure. I know bedrest can work miracles for some women, I've heard the firsthand accounts, but I am not getting the feeling that I'm one of the lucky ones. Maybe it's just my string of bad luck in the past 24 hours.

1. Alice (one of the new kittens) did a number on my hand last night. I spooked her a little and she clawed the hell out of the palm of my hand. Let's just say I've got a nice slash from the base of my thumb out towards my pinkie. It took forever for it to stop bleeding and I tried cleaning it the best I could with what we have, which means water and soap. Then I spent half the night freaking out over the possibility of contracting Toxoplasmosis because of a scratch. Everyone's been assuring me you can't, but it doesn't stop the worry.

2. It might sound trivial or silly to some people, but the DVD player wont turn on for some reason. Not only that, but now one of my I Love Lucy DVD's is stuck inside and I can't get it out. That DVD player is like my lifeline, I need it. Television sucks these days, and at least I know I can watch something that I know I'm going to like rather than take my chances with some random channel. Rob keeps saying he'll take a look at it (he's better with the technical aspect of things than I am) but he hasn't gotten around to it lately. I could watch stuff on my laptop but there's only so much it can take. I guess there's only so much a DVD player can take too. Well, there's only so much a hormonal pregnant woman can take, and if you ask me, that should trump everything.

3. I had some cramping again this morning. I got up for a potty break and right after I started getting these painful cramps. They came and they went, but I only got a few and then they stopped. I called my doctor who seems to think it was round ligament pain or something like that, but to take myself (well, have someone else take me, I'm not supposed to be driving) to L&D if I had more than 4 in an hour or started bleeding at all. It feels like living your own worst nightmare again and again and again. I'm so agitated and tense over everything that something always pops up into my head like a bad case of deja vu. They told me that before, you know. Don't worry, the cramping is normal pregnancy stuff, don't worry. Look how that turned out. I haven't had any more of the cramping or contractions, or ligament pain or whatever it was again. I've just been laying here too afraid to get up to pee until I absolutely have to. But I'm home. I want to avoid L&D again for as long as I can, it's a horrible place to be for someone like me. One small comfort is that I already have that appointment tomorrow to see my Peri. The bigger discomfort is that I really don't think the news is going to to be good.

4. I think I lost my wedding ring. Or at least, I think one of the kittens took it, not that makes a difference, I still don't know where it is. I don't really wear it a whole lot to be honest, and if you know me, that shouldn't come as a shock. I hate jewelry. I don't wear watches or bracelets because they make my wrist itch, my ears aren't pierced because I'm afraid of needles and having weights on my ears (well, that's how I see them anyways), and most of all I just hate rings. Rings make my fingers feel clunky. Rings always get in the way because I work with my hands a lot (or used to). And now that it's cold, my fingers always hurt, rings only make it worse. And yes, I know it sucks that I'm 20 years old and already have joint issues. Rob gives me a hard time about it, especially because it's not like it was a cheap ring. But I do [i]wear[/i] it, just not on my finger. I may not like necklaces, but if the chain is long enough (and I mean long) it doesn't bother me as much, so I wear my wedding ring around my neck. Well, I could have sworn I had it laid out on the arm of the couch after I took my shower this morning and I don't remember ever putting it back on (and it's not around my neck) but it's gone. GONE. And I know Rob's going to be pissed about it when he finds out. I think the cat took it, but the question is where? Alice loves to go after anything that even has a hint of sparkle or shine to it and then we never see it again. It's not like I can tear the house apart without breaking rule number one: no getting up! I could ask Rob to help, but let's back up to the "Rob's going to be pissed," part. He hasn't noticed, so I probably wont say anything until he does and just pray that Alice likes to pretend she's a dog and brings it back to play fetch.

Hey, I think that's the closest I've come to making a joke today. I'll take all I can get.

I know, everyone wants to listen to me complain all day, right? It's nice to have a place to vent. Rob hasn't been very talkative lately. Actually, he's perfected the one word sentence in a very short amount of time. If I was lonely before, it's really only getting worse. I just wish he's actually talk to me, because I just feel like I'm starting to loose hold on the little sanity I actually have.