One Month Down

Bedrest Day: 30
Hospital Day: 20

One month ago today on a lovely (ha!) January day, my term sentence began! Man, how I miss those first 10 days of bedrest. Being at home sure as heck beat being here at the Hospital, minus the part that I was alone for the majority of my day. I don't always like being interrupted every 4 hours by my nurses. Unless they bring me good news, than I think it's all forgiven. I can't even believe I've only been in the hospital for only 20 days. It seems like it's more along the lines of 20 years. An eternity, really. And to think, I realistically could be here for another 10+ weeks depending on how this all pans out.

It's crazy, the things that you miss when you're forced into a situation that pretty much takes away any and all independence and a sense of self. I haven't gotten to make a real decision since I got here, everything is decided by someone else: what I get to eat for my 3 daily meals, how often I get to take a shower, if I get any me-time privileges outside of my room. I get no say in anything, I have no identity anymore.

Try this on for size: I haven't seen the sky since I got here. That's 20 days with no fresh air. Think I've gone a little stir crazy? I keep asking if I can get some leeway in the form of even 30 minute joy rides in a wheel chair, maybe go get fresh air (I don't even care how crappy the weather may be), go use a public restroom (who would have thought I would actually be begging to use one of them?), go down to the gift shop (I want to buy something for some silly reason, I want change!!), you name it. But that's still not an option that's on the table until I'm "more stable". Yeah, and you keep telling me there's nothing to be worried about, but then tell me I'm not stable enough for a short excursion that doesn't involve me standing on my feet? Hypocrite much?

By the way, the room I'm in right now has no window, so I really haven't seen the sky in 20 days. Here's to hoping the next time they move my room I get one with a view that isn't best known for the same boring squares on the ceiling.

I miss Friday game night, a staple in our (meaning me and Rob) family since before we moved in together. We love games. Board games, card games, scavenger hunts (all time favorite). It's just not the same if it doesn't happen on a Friday night, because I'm picky like that. It's just another thing that's dictated by the Hospital because he can't get out here until Saturday morning, which defeats the whole purpose of Friday game night.

I could go on. It's true, you never quite know exactly what you've got until you've had it taken away. So try taking a moment out of your day to focus on something you may think is silly, but you'd miss if you never got to do it again.